Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
