we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
it's like heaven, but drunker
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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