Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
