Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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