I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
soo... how was my night?
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