I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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