AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
