How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize