Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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