i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
