these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
