I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
