Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
