we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
do nipples grow back?
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