I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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