$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
