I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
