It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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