How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
honey bunches of taint.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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