Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
