She is in my trunk
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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