We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Farmville is her only friend.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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