I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
