I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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