He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
