ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
wow bdsm is so cute
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
