chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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