If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
