don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
