I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
