Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
