I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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