he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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