i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
