quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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