she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
