just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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