Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
