I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
