Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just found a bag of teeth...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
