where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
