I think I won the penis lottery.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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