The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I have so many feelings about this burrito
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
