If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
