Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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