I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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