I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
