Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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