Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
