Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
